I tell myself this every day

I tell myself this every day

Sunday, November 23, 2014


I received that comment and after a lot of consideration, I decided to respond to them. I get mean, nasty, or passive aggressive messages pretty often so I'm quite accustomed to ignoring them. This one had me thinking for quite some time before I decided to abuse my keyboard once again and pound out a response.

I don't owe anyone anything. No one owes me anything. There are a couple of people I would love to be friends with now that I'm a better human being but a relationship just isn't possible. Some of them I have wronged and others I just rubbed the wrong way. It's unfortunate, but that is how life works. I'm dealing with a disorder and I'm not in denial of my faults. They have every right to choose whether we're friends or not. I don't hold that weight when I go about my daily life. It isn't mine to hold. If I was legless I certainly wouldn't be upset that I couldn't be a soccer player. Everyone's life has limitations and this is one of mine. I will not be able to be friends with everyone I want to because of who I was and who I am.

Chances are the person who made this comment is probably not one of the people on my short list that I am interested in having a friendship with.

The other side of this is that there are some people who rubbed me wrong as well. I'm a healthy individual now, not Ghandi. There are people that I avoid and some that I just plain don't get along with. It's not my goal to love the world and teach people absolute forgiveness. If anyone stumbled upon my blog expecting to find that then they should have realized a bipolar person is not going to cultivate an adequate breeding ground for inner peace. I'm coping and living with a disorder, not completely blind as to how the world works.

I'm not sure what this person was trying to get out of this or if they are even someone I ever knew. The internet is full of trolls who love nothing more than to shit wherever they can squeeze their giant, bored anus into. Frankly, I don't care what this person's motivation was, nor do I care to reconcile any wrongdoing they felt has been done.

I will not please everyone with who I am. I will not please everyone with my efforts. I will not change everyone's opinion on bipolar, or mental illnesses for that matter.

But I will sleep comfortably at night knowing that I am ok with and proud of who I am and my efforts. I focus on progression, not perfection.

Thanks for reading!