I tell myself this every day

I tell myself this every day

Sunday, June 9, 2013

I Myself Am Strange And Unusual Part 1

Made my first video blog. I was trying to stay away from it because of my tendency to go completely manic. I wanted to make sure what I was doing is what I wanted to do and not what my fuck brain rather have me do. 

It's about ghosts, or rather the possibility of them, as well as the possibility of me being just plain crazy.



  1. You're not crazy at all and applaud you for your courage in posting the video and keeping this blog. I myself am always worried about putting myself out there or communicating with anyone when I'm manic because I always ruminate/regret it. I'm BPI,AS, GAD and a hardcore cyclist as well so you're not alone!

  2. Thank you :) It's hard to throw it all out there but I made my mind up and this is the result. NOW GO RIDE :P ha ha

  3. My particular brand of crazy is severe bipolar type I, schizotypal. I have auditory and visual hallucinations, and my psychosis gets worse when I'm deeply depressed or screamingly manic.

    I still don't know if this was a hallucination or not since it was a dream, but one of the most vivid "ghost" sort of experiences I've ever had was a few months ago. I had this incredibly realistic dream about being a member of a satanic cult, going to meetings in this basement/cave type place, and eventually sacrificing a young boy who was a sibling of one of the other cult members. Two days after I had the dream, I was on Tumblr and found this picture of the "Devil's Cave" in Untermeyer Park, where a satanic cult (the Son of Sam was their most famous member) met and performed rituals regularly:

    That image is exactly the place that I dreamed of. I had never seen or even heard of it before. I'm completely convinced that I had some sort of connection to something that happened there. It was one of the most deeply disturbing experiences I've ever had.

    Usually my psychosis is much more mundane. I hear demonic sort of voices saying fucked up shit to me, muffled screaming, see shadow people, bugs, any kind of pattern or flat surface sort of *breathes* and *crawls*... basically like I'm on acid all the time, haha. That shit gets old.

    Also, The Dead Weather <33

  4. Wow. That was fantastic. I too have had instances throughout my life that I'm nit really sure what it was.