I tell myself this every day

I tell myself this every day

Friday, June 7, 2013

Scream, Paint It Out

I use painting as a coping mechanism and also a form of restraint. If I hole myself away in the basement with my brushes and paint so I can't act out against the people around me. It's hard. I drop to the floor a lot crying uncontrollably, I have a special brush I put in my mouth and bite down hard on whenever I feel the urge to explode, I pace around with my hands tightly gripping my hair or cradling my skull, I also collapse on the floor out of pure exhaustion from trying to control myself. It's a very sad and terrifying experience but I've managed to turn it around into something productive.

I will have to live with this disorder for the rest of my life. I will also paint for the rest of my life. I think that trade off makes it worth it.

Scream, spit it out

Thank you for reading.


  1. I Like it. alot. its almost uncanny how this reminds me of one of my masks, and i found out i can buy attachments for it for a backpack air tank as well. its creepy.

  2. I LOVE this piece. Sooooo much. I'm so glad you've been able to find an outlet in art - I can say with 100% certainty that art, above all other things, has saved my life. More than once. Right now my tattoo apprenticeship is pretty much the only thing that's keeping me going.

    Stick with it. Painting has gotten me through manic spells time and time again. And keep posting your work, I love seeing it!